Understanding Our Defence Mechanisms: How We Handle Feelings and Move from Reaction to Response
What are Defence Mechanisms?
Defence mechanisms are unconscious psychological strategies that we use to protect ourselves from anxiety, stress, or uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. These mechanisms help individuals cope with reality and maintain self-esteem by distorting or denying reality in some way.
Defence mechanisms are not just about protecting us from harm. They are actually how we manage our emotions and how we interact with the world around us. Let’s dive into how these mechanisms impact our emotional responses and learn ways to shift from automatic reactions to mindful responses.
Debunking the Myth: Defence Mechanisms Aren't Just About Protection
Defence mechanisms are often seen as shields against external threats. However, they also serve an essential function in our internal world. These mechanisms help us manage emotional stress and maintain psychological balance, even when we are not consciously aware of it.
Types of Defence Mechanisms and Their Emotional Implications
Denial: Refusing to accept reality to avoid dealing with painful feelings.
Emotional pattern: Can lead to prolonged stress as unresolved issues linger beneath the surface.
Projection: Attributing our own unacceptable thoughts or feelings to someone else.
Emotional pattern: Can cause conflicts in relationships due to misplaced accusations.
Repression: Pushing uncomfortable thoughts into the unconscious.
Emotional pattern: Can result in unexplained anxiety or depression as suppressed emotions seek an outlet.
Rationalisation: Justifying behaviours or feelings with seemingly logical reasons.
Emotional pattern: Prevents individuals from confronting the true reasons behind their actions, leading to a lack of personal growth.
Displacement: Redirecting emotions from a threatening target to a safer one.
Emotional pattern: Can create additional problems in relationships by displacing anger or frustration onto innocent parties.
Strategies for Shifting from Reaction to Response
Pause and Reflect: Before reacting impulsively, take a moment to pause and consider the situation. This helps in responding thoughtfully rather than reacting out of habit.
Identify Triggers: Recognise what situations or comments trigger strong emotional reactions. Understanding these triggers can help in preparing and managing responses more effectively.
Practice Empathy: Try to understand the other person’s perspective and emotions before responding. This can lead to more compassionate and effective communication.
Choose Thoughtful Words: The language we use can significantly impact our emotional interactions. Choosing words carefully can prevent misunderstandings and promote positive dialogue.
Our defence mechanisms are deeply intertwined with our emotional experiences, often operating behind the scenes to protect us from psychological distress.
Explore your own defences and notice when your having a reaction
Our ability to handle feelings is crucial to our overall wellbeing and the health of our relationships. By understanding and managing our defences, we can move from reaction to thoughtful response.