What is Therapy?

Emma enters therapy with a pervasive sense of distrust and a pattern of avoiding close relationships. In her sessions, she discusses her difficulty in trusting others and her tendency to isolate herself (the tip of the iceberg). The therapist listens and observes Emma's reluctance to delve into her past.

As the therapist gently encourages Emma to share more about her life, Emma reveals that she has always felt a sense of unease around others but can't pinpoint why (the preconscious part of the iceberg). The therapist asks Emma to describe any early memories or feelings that come to mind when she thinks about trust and safety.

With support, Emma recalls fragmented memories of being mistreated by a relative when she was very young (the unconscious part of the iceberg). These experiences were deeply distressing and have been repressed for many years. Emma has carried the weight of this trauma without fully recognising its impact on her current life.

Through the therapeutic process, Emma begins to connect her current feelings of distrust and isolation to her past experiences of abuse. The therapist helps Emma to understand that her coping mechanisms, which were necessary for survival at the time, are now barriers to forming healthy relationships.

By acknowledging and processing these traumatic memories, Emma starts to heal from her past wounds. The therapist supports her in developing new ways of relating to herself and others, fostering a sense of safety and trust that was previously missing from her life.

Alex went to therapy with a ‘weird’ sense of anxiety that seems disproportionate to his current life circumstances. In his sessions, he talks about his constant worry and fear, particularly in social situations (the tip of the iceberg). The therapist notices Alex's discomfort when discussing his past and decides to explore this further.

As the therapist delves deeper, Alex hesitantly shares that he has always felt a sense of dread but doesn't understand its origin (the subconscious part of the iceberg). The therapist encourages Alex to share any thoughts or memories that arise when he thinks about his anxiety.

With time and trust built in the therapeutic relationship, Alex reveals a history of neglect and emotional abuse in his childhood home (the unconscious part of the iceberg). These experiences were deeply traumatic and have been repressed, influencing Alex's worldview and self-perception.

Through therapy, Alex begins to uncover the impact of this dark past on his present anxiety. He realises that his fear of judgment and rejection in social settings stems from the instability and criticism he faced during his formative years. The therapist helps Alex to process these painful memories and develop new, healthier coping strategies.

This process allows Alex to understand the roots of his anxiety and start the journey of healing from his traumatic past, leading to a reduction in his anxiety and an improvement in his overall well-being.

Daniel went to therapy feeling stuck in life, particularly in his career. He's been working the same job for years and feels unfulfilled, but he's unsure why he can't seem to make a change (the tip of the iceberg).

In therapy, Daniel talks about his day-to-day experiences and his dissatisfaction at work. The therapist listens and notices Daniel often mentions his father in a tone of admiration and fear. The therapist explores this relationship further.

Daniel reveals that his father was a successful businessman who expected Daniel to follow in his footsteps (the preconscious part of the iceberg). Daniel shares that he chose his current career to please his father, not because it was his passion.

As the sessions continue, Daniel uncovers a deep-seated fear of failure and a belief that he must live up to his father's legacy (the unconscious part of the iceberg). These beliefs have been paralysing him, preventing him from pursuing his true interests.

With the therapist's guidance, Daniel begins to challenge these unconscious beliefs. He realises that his fear of disappointing his father has been holding him back from exploring his own dreams and aspirations.

Through the therapeutic process, Daniel starts to embrace his own identity separate from his father's expectations. He gains the courage to make a career change that aligns with his personal passions and goals

Sophia goes to therapy due to feeling disconnected from the world around her. She describes life as if she's watching it through a screen, not fully participating (the tip of the iceberg).

In therapy, Sophia discusses her daily routine, which is meticulously organised and controlled. The therapist notices Sophia's discomfort with spontaneity and probes this area.

Sophia admits that she craves control in her life because it gives her a sense of security (the preconscious part of the iceberg). She shares that her childhood was chaotic, with frequent moves and unpredictable family dynamics.

Digging deeper, Sophia and the therapist uncover a fear of chaos and a belief that control prevents bad outcomes (the unconscious part of the iceberg). These beliefs stem from an early age when control was necessary for emotional survival.

With the therapist's support, Sophia begins to see how her need for control has limited her ability to experience life fully. She learns to embrace uncertainty and starts engaging in new activities that bring her joy.

Jane comes to therapy feeling stuck in her career and personal life. She feels an inner turmoil that she can't quite understand, which is the call to adventure in our metaphor.

With her therapist's guidance, Jane begins to explore her unconscious mind, the dark cave, where she uncovers a deep-seated belief that she doesn't deserve success or happiness. This belief is her dragon, a formidable force rooted in her childhood experiences of being constantly criticised.

As therapy progresses, Jane confronts this dragon. The therapist helps her to challenge her self-limiting beliefs and to understand their origins. This is the battle with the dragon, where Jane must muster her courage and resilience.

Through this process, Jane discovers her gold—the realisation that her worth is not tied to others' approval. She learns to value her own accomplishments and to set boundaries that protect her self-esteem.

Jane emerges from therapy with new tools and insights, which is the return with the elixir in our metaphor. She applies these learnings to her life, leading to improved relationships and a more fulfilling career path.

David, a 35-year-old man, had been experiencing chronic headaches and stomach pains for several years. Despite numerous medical tests, no physical cause was found. His symptoms were affecting his daily life and work.

1. Initial Sessions: David’s therapist began by building a trusting relationship and encouraging him to talk about his symptoms and life experiences.

2. Exploring Emotions: Through discussions, it was revealed that David had a history of emotional neglect during childhood. He often felt unsupported and had difficulty expressing his emotions.

3. Connecting Symptoms to Emotions: The therapist helped David understand that his physical symptoms might be linked to his suppressed emotions and unresolved childhood issues.

4. Emotional Expression: David was encouraged to express his feelings more openly, both in therapy and in his daily life. This included talking about his frustrations, fears, and sadness.

5. Insight and Coping: Over time, David gained insight into how his past experiences were influencing his current symptoms. He learned healthier ways to cope with stress and emotional pain.

Outcome: After several months of therapy, David’s headaches and stomach pains significantly reduced. He felt more in control of his emotions and better equipped to handle stress. His overall quality of life improved, and he was able to return to his normal activities with greater ease.