Online Therapy for Compulsive Behaviours UK

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Understand unconscious influences

Our therapy will help you understand your unconscious influences through exploring aspects of your mind that you are not consciously aware of, such as unconscious beliefs or past experiences that still influence you in the present day.

For compulsive behaviours, our therapy aims to help you understand the insecurities that prompt your desire for control and perfection.

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About insecurities

Compulsive behaviours often arise from deep-seated insecurities. You may feel compelled to engage in rigid behaviours because you may believe it provides a sense of control and safety for you.

Our therapy helps us to explore these insecurities, examining how they relate to past events, childhood experiences, and any unresolved trauma or historical difficulties.

By addressing these underlying issues, you can gradually loosen the grip of these maladaptive patterns.

When does ‘help’ begin to ‘hinder’ ?

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Breaking the cycle

Are you engaging in things that you know are no good for you?

Harmful behaviours associated with compulsive behaviours can hold you back from personal growth and healthy relationships.

Our therapy assists you in breaking the cycle of rigidity, perfectionism, and self-imposed limitations.

Through self-awareness and insight, you can learn healthier coping mechanisms and develop more adaptive ways of relating to yourself and others.

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Exploring what’s ‘hidden’

Our therapy will uncover unconscious beliefs, past experiences, and unresolved emotions that continue to impact your present behaviour.

By gaining insight into these hidden aspects, you can better understand the roots of your perfectionism, control issues, and harmful behaviours.

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Improving relationships

Throughout therapy, by gaining greater awareness of your internal world, we can explore your thoughts, feelings, and desires.

This will assist you to develop better self-awareness and insight into your patterns of behaviour and compulsions.

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Underlying issues

While compulsive behaviours are not directly linked to non-recent abuse, trauma and unresolved historical psychological difficulties they can contribute to our personality traits.

Our therapy provides a safe space to explore these underlying issues and their impact on your current behaviours.

Kind words

WHAT MY CLIENTS SAY ABOUT WORKING WITH ME

Hand drawn and coloured image of a businessman wearing a two tone blue and red suit saying a testimonial after 4 months of working on family of origin issues, becoming a father and conspiracy theory beliefs

“Rick is a very unique man. He is very kind, smart and a great listener. I feel very comfortable sharing with Rick, he is very approachable, light-hearted and funny. I look forward to my meetings with him every week and I love the fact he can ask me the right questions to get me to dig deeper into my mind to figure out thought patterns and past experiences which may be causing certain challenges in my life. This is exactly what I was looking for from a therapist. Therapy isn’t something that works overnight but every session I feel like I am learning more about myself and how I can change my inner dialogue to better serve myself in life. It is refreshing to be able to express myself to someone who understands me, has a passion for what they do and feel comfortable with. This is my first time trying therapy and I would definitely recommend Rick”

AFTER 4 MONTHS OF WORKING ON FAMILY OF ORIGIN ISSUES, BECOMING A FATHER AND CONSPIRACY THEORY BELIEFS

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About compulsive sexual behaviours

Compulsive sexual behaviours, also known as hyper-sexuality or sexual addiction, refer to patterns of excessive sexual thoughts, fantasies, urges, or behaviours that interfere with daily life and well-being. Here are some specifics:

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Frequency and intensity

People with compulsive sexual behaviours engage in sexual activities more frequently and intensely than they desire or can control.

This can include excessive pornography use, frequent masturbation, or multiple sexual partners.

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Loss of control

A hallmark of compulsive sexual behaviour is the inability to control sexual impulses.

Despite negative consequences (such as relationship problems, legal issues, or health risks), the person continues to engage in sexual behaviours.

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Escalation

Over time, compulsive sexual behaviours often escalate.

What initially seemed harmless may lead to riskier activities, such as infidelity, unsafe sex or illegal behaviours.

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Preoccupation

Thoughts about sex dominate the person's mind, interfering with other aspects of life.

They may spend excessive time seeking sexual stimuli or planning sexual encounters.

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Consequences

Compulsive sexual behaviours can harm relationships, work, and mental health.

Feelings of guilt, shame, and anxiety are common.

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Withdrawal symptoms

Some individuals experience withdrawal-like symptoms when unable to engage in sexual behaviours.

These can include irritability, restlessness, or anxiety.

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Underlying factors

Our therapy explores underlying causes, such as unresolved childhood trauma, attachment issues, or emotional conflicts. These factors contribute to the compulsive behaviour.

Kind words

WHAT MY CLIENTS SAY ABOUT WORKING WITH ME

Hand drawn and coloured image of a woman wearing a tight blue swimsuit and swimming glasses saying a testimonial after participating in the inner insight half day therapy with rick service

“From what we came to in the initial 2 hour session Rick gave me a couple of options and I chose the hall of monsters and the hall of fame out of curiosity. I literally confronted my shadow in the hall of monsters, and the hall of fame helped me to reconcile what was going on. We went onto draw loads of links between my aspirations and how I was holding myself back from them, and the critical voice I always though was mine, was actually an accumulation of other peoples opinions I had held onto since childhood”

AFTER THE HALF DAY INNER INSIGHT

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About hyper-sexuality

Hyper-sexuality refers to an excessive preoccupation with sexual thoughts, fantasies, or behaviours. It can manifest as compulsive sexual behaviour or sexual addiction. When it intersects with trauma, particularly sexual abuse, several dynamics come into play:

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Coping mechanisms

Survivors of sexual abuse may turn to hyper-sexuality as a way to regain control over their bodies and emotions.

Engaging in compulsive sexual behaviours temporarily alleviates emotional pain and distress caused by the trauma.

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Self-worth and validation

Hyper-sexuality can serve as a means to seek validation and reassurance of our own desirability.

For survivors who feel worthlessness and inadequacy due to the abuse, engaging in sexual activities may provide a temporary boost to self-esteem.

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Re-enactment of trauma

We may unconsciously re-enact our traumatic experiences through hyper-sexual behaviour.

This may be an attempt to gain mastery over the traumatic event or change the narrative surrounding your sexuality, perpetuating a cycle of hyper-sexual trauma.

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Dissociation and numbing

Sexual abuse can cause survivors to dissociate from their emotions and physical sensations.

Hyper-sexuality may serve as a way to numb the pain and disconnection you may feel.

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About sexting

The destructive safety net of sexting, while often considered a personal choice, can intersect with unresolved historical trauma in several ways.

We may engage in sexting as a coping mechanism or a way to reclaim control over our bodies and sexuality. Sexting can provide a sense of intimacy, validation, and connection, especially if other forms of healing are limited.

However, it’s essential to recognise that unresolved trauma can influence how we perceive and engage in intimate behaviours.

Hand drawn and coloured image of a finger hovering over a red button symbolic of problems with sexting

Problems with sexting

Re-enactment: We may unconsciously reenact traumatic experiences through sexting, seeking validation or repeating patterns of vulnerability.

Hypersexuality: Trauma can lead to hypersexuality or compulsive sexual behaviours. Sexting may become problematic if it reinforces this pattern.

Boundary Issues: We may struggle with setting healthy boundaries. Sexting can blur these boundaries, leading to anxiety, emotional distress and problems in your relationship.

Avoidance: Sexting might serve as a distraction from facing unresolved trauma, preventing deeper healing.

Triggering Content: Explicit content exchanged during sexting could inadvertently trigger trauma-related emotions.

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Healing and Awareness

Recognising the link between trauma and sexting is crucial. Our therapy can help you navigate your experiences.

So we can engage in self-reflection, and understand the triggers.

Encouraging open conversations about boundaries, consent, and emotional well-being in sexting relationships is essential.

Remember, you’re not alone…

ELEMENTS OF MY PRACTICE

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Find Some Answer's
  • Yes, hypersexuality can indeed serve as a coping mechanism for some individuals.

    When faced with unresolved past trauma, some people turn to sexual behaviours—such as excessive porn consumption, cybersex, or intrusive sexual fantasies—as a way to cope.

    This behaviour can manifest as seeking multiple partners, frequently discussing sex, or heavily focusing on sexual expression in relationships.

    In cases like borderline personality disorder (BPD), hypersexuality may temporarily relieve intense emotional distress or feelings of emptiness, providing an escape from discomfort.

    However, it’s essential to recognise the potential consequences and work toward healthier coping mechanisms. If you’re experiencing hypersexuality as a coping strategy, seeking professional support can be beneficial.

  • Hypersexuality, also known as hypersexual disorder or sex addiction, refers to an obsessive fixation on sex, sexual acts, and sexual fantasies. It can significantly disrupt a person’s daily functioning. Here are some characteristics of hypersexuality:

    1. Compulsive sexual behaviour: Individuals with hypersexuality struggle to control their sexual urges and behaviours.

    2. Recurring and uncontrollable sexual fantasies: These fantasies can dominate a person’s thoughts.

    3. Difficulty establishing and maintaining relationships: Preoccupation with sex may hinder forming romantic connections.

    4. Continuing sexual behaviours despite harm: Even after negative consequences, some people persist in sexual activities.

    As for the causes of hypersexuality, research suggests several possibilities:

    1. Certain conditions: Conditions like epilepsy may damage brain areas, potentially triggering hypersexuality.

    2. Chemical imbalance in the brain: An imbalance, particularly involving dopamine, could contribute to the condition.

    3. Medication side effects: Some medications (e.g., dopamine replacement drugs for Parkinson’s disease) may lead to hypersexuality.

    Triggers for hypersexuality can be internal (related to feelings) or external (associated with past pleasure from sexual experiences).

  • Comfort, control and validation...

    Hypersexuality after betrayal trauma refers to an increased desire for sexual activity that often arises from the pain of betrayal. It’s a complex reaction, but essentially, it’s an attempt to regain control, validation, and intimacy that may have been lost in the aftermath of an affair or betrayal.

    When someone experiences betrayal, their emotional landscape can be profoundly affected, leading to various coping mechanisms, including hypersexuality. Here are some reasons why hypersexuality might occur after trauma:

    1. Coping Mechanism: Survivors of sexual abuse or betrayal may turn to hypersexual behavior as a way to cope with intense feelings of shame, guilt, and powerlessness. Engaging in compulsive sexual behaviors can provide temporary relief from emotional pain.

    2. Seeking Validation: Hypersexuality can serve as a means to seek validation and boost self-esteem. Survivors may feel worthlessness and inadequacy, and sexual activities can temporarily counteract those feelings.

    3. Reenactment of Trauma: Some survivors unconsciously reenact their traumatic experiences through hypersexual behavior. This may be an attempt to gain mastery over the trauma or change the narrative surrounding their sexuality.

    4. Dissociation and Numbing: Sexual abuse can cause emotional disconnection. Hypersexuality may serve as a way to numb the pain and disconnection experienced by survivors.

  • Hypersexuality, also known as hypersexual disorder or sex addiction, refers to an obsessive fixation on sex, sexual acts, and sexual fantasies that can significantly disrupt daily functioning. Here are some steps to manage hypersexuality:

    1. Identify Triggers: Recognize situations or thoughts that intensify sexual cravings. By understanding your triggers, you can work on avoiding them.

    2. Stress Management: Practice stress-reduction techniques such as meditation, deep breathing, or exercise. Managing stress can help regulate sexual urges.

    3. Rebuild Relationships: Focus on establishing and maintaining healthy relationships. Hypersexuality can strain connections, so rebuilding trust and communication is essential.

    4. Seek Support: Consider joining support groups or seeking professional help. Connecting with others who understand your experience can be beneficial.

    5. Explore Medication: Some common antidepressants may help reduce hypersexuality symptoms, although more research is needed in this area.

  • Sexting, which involves sending sexually suggestive messages or images via text, can be triggered by various factors. Here are some key points:

    1. Attachment Styles: Research suggests that individuals with avoidant or anxious attachment styles are more likely to engage in sexting. Anxious individuals may use it as a hyperactivating strategy to seek closeness, while avoidant individuals may employ it as a deactivating strategy to meet sexual needs while maintaining emotional distance.

    2. Curiosity and Experimentation: Teens and young adults often explore their sexual identities and relationships through sexting. It’s a way to experiment and express curiosity about intimacy and desire.

    3. Technology and Accessibility: The widespread use of smartphones and easy access to messaging apps make sexting more convenient. People can communicate sexually even when physically distant.

    4. Peer Influence: Peer pressure and social norms play a role. If friends or peers engage in sexting, an individual may feel compelled to do the same.

    5. Desire for Connection: Sexting can be driven by a desire for emotional connection, validation, or excitement. It allows partners to express desire and maintain intimacy.

    Remember that while sexting can be consensual and harmless, it’s essential to consider the potential risks, such as privacy breaches or emotional consequences. Communication and consent are crucial in any intimate context.

  • Sexting, defined as sending, receiving, or forwarding sexually suggestive photos or messages, can have complex consequences for young people. Here are some key points based on research:

    1. Emotional and Psychological Impact:

      • Depression and Anxiety: Youth who engage in sexting are more likely to experience depression and anxiety.

      • Consent Matters: Negative mental health consequences are often connected to non-consensual sexting. Participants who willingly sent explicit material without pressure did not experience these negative effects.

      • Unsolicited Sexts: Receiving unsolicited sexts can lead to feelings of depression, sadness, upset, and aggression.

      • Asking or Pressuring: Asking or pressuring someone to send a sext is associated with feelings of aggression.

    2. Relationships and Violence:

      • Trauma and Violence: Youth who sext are three times more likely to experience emotional victimisation and dating relationship violence.

      • Cyberbullying: Sending sexually suggestive content is linked to subsequent cyberbullying.

      • Bullying: However, there’s no connection between sexting and non-cyber bullying.

    3. Positive Aspects:

      • Exploring Sexuality: Some positive outcomes include exploring sexuality and building trust and respect in relationships.

    While consensual sexting may have minimal impact on emotional well-being, coerced or unwanted sexting can lead to negative consequences. It’s essential to consider consent and communication when engaging in sexting.

  • So what can you do to control your sexting addiction? Here are some suggestions that could help if you really want to control the habit.

    1. Delete the dating and messaging apps on your phone.

    2. Sort out your contact list and delete you’re sexting partners

    3. Keep your phone away from your bedroom when you’re about to sleep

    4. To avoid sexting out of boredom, engage in physical activities like sports, exercise, or outdoor activities

    5. Find a wholesome pleasurable activity that you enjoy like watching your favourite TV program, eating out with friends, starting a new hobby, etc.

  • Rebuilding trust after sexting requires open communication and commitment from both partners. Here are some steps to consider:

    1. Be Assertive: Confront your partner directly about their sexting. Be open about your feelings and where you’re coming from. Avoid spying or plotting to catch them—it won’t repair trust.

    2. Express Your Feelings: Talk about how their sexting made you feel. Focus on your experience rather than accusing them. Wait until you’re calm to have this conversation.

    3. Set Boundaries: Clarify your boundaries around sexting with your spouse. Discuss what’s acceptable and what isn’t to help rebuild trust.

    Healing takes time, but with effort, it’s possible to recover and enjoy a healthy relationship again.

  • The perception of sexting versus cheating varies among individuals and couples. Some consider sexting a form of betrayal, while others view it as harmless fun. Here are a few perspectives:

    1. Betrayal and Honesty:

    2. Consent and Communication:

      • Whether sexting is cheating depends on consent. In a relationship, it’s crucial to discuss boundaries and ensure both partners are comfortable with explicit conversations.

      • Some couples may have different definitions of infidelity, leading to varying opinions on sexting.

      • Verdict: Open communication is key to understanding each other’s perspectives.

    Relationships are complex, and what matters most is mutual understanding and respect. If you’re facing this situation, consider having an honest conversation with your partner about boundaries and expectations.

  • Sexting can indeed have implications for physical affairs, but the connection is complex.

    Research suggests that people in committed relationships are more likely to engage in sexting.

    Anxiety about dating or partner perceptions may promote sexting behaviour.

    Attachment styles also play a role: secure attachments lead to healthier relationships, while insecure attachments may drive anxiety and avoidance.

    Ultimately, sexting’s impact on physical affairs varies, but it’s essential to maintain open communication and trust in any relationship.

    Keep in mind that context matters, and individual experiences can differ.

The ego is the habitual and compulsive thought processes that go through everybody’s mind continuously. External things like possessions or memories or failures or successes or achievements. Your personal history
— Eckhart Tolle